


Damsel in Distress

by hanwritesstuff (hannahkannao)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Kinda Cracky, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-30
Updated: 2016-10-30
Packaged: 2018-08-27 20:40:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8416030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannahkannao/pseuds/hanwritesstuff
Summary: At one point in his life, Tendou Satori wished he could be a cartoon villain. Not anymore.





	

Tendou Satori didn’t think of himself as the damsel in distress type. If anything, he thought of himself as the villain who isn't  _ really _ a villain but makes a ton of bad jokes and has a cool costume. He just never thought that he’d ever be helplessly waiting for someone else to get him out of whatever mess he’d get himself into.

But here he was, tied up and hanging off the edge of a skyscraper, hoping no one would be stupid and drop him the thirty stories to the ground below. He wasn’t afraid of heights, but he was afraid of going splat on the pavement, and one of those directly affected the other.

In the midst of all this, he just wondered,  _ why him?  _ Sure, he pissed people off sometimes, but how was he supposed to know that the guy he’d run into on the street was the local supervillain? How was he supposed to know that the coffee spill he’d caused would be enough to put himself right in the path of death itself?

The cape should have tipped him off. It was black, and velvet, and creepy enough to give off some weird evil-sorcerer vibes, and Satori should have seen it coming.

But he didn’t, and this is how he had to pay for it. 

“Shiiiiiit,” he whispered to himself, looking down at the tiny ant-people gathering on the street below. Didn’t anyone know that if the rope snapped, he’d fall on top of someone and kill them as well as himself? Idiots.

“How do you feel now?” The guy was standing on the edge of the roof, evil grin shining bright in contrast to the dark colors he was wearing. Satori didn’t even remember his super-sinister villain name. It was probably something dumb like Negashade or something like that.

“Listen, dude.” Satori looked over at him with a strategically-placed eye roll. “I was just trying to get to class, I didn’t mean to run into you.”

“You got my suit dirty, asshole.” The guy crossed his arms. Satori was calling him Negashade now, just to make it easier.

“That is what some people call me, yes.” Satori didn’t really know what he was doing, tempting fate like this. Maybe it was just the symptoms of being an overly sarcastic college kid.

Something green flashed behind him, barely there in Satori’s peripheral vision before it came back. A green vine started growing up behind Negashade’s legs, almost on its own, slithering closer and closer to him until it wrapped around his ankle, catching him off guard and eventually knocking him off his feet onto the ground. He let out a yelp just as a black boot stomped on his back, keeping him from moving.

Satori looked up at the person the boot was attached to, and oh,  _ shit _ , was he beautiful. 

He already knew who he was. He was called the Photosynthesizer - an incredibly dumb name, for the record, but weren’t all superhero names like that? - and he was the town hero. No one knew who he really was, and that just made him more popular. He could control plants, seemingly without limitations, at least none that Satori had seen, and he could fly. 

Satori had never seen him close up. He’d never needed to. The Photosynthesizer had flied over his head a couple of times, but they’d never been directly entangled until now.

His uniform was bright fuchsia, a very idiotic color choice from whoever had designed it, and it was spandex. Up close, it would have looked even more stupid, if not for the fact that he was _buff_ _as hell_. His legs looked like they were all muscle, his arms somehow looked even more so, and Satori could even see a six-pack coming through, even though he was somewhat distracted by the green leaf logo on his chest. He had dark brown hair that blew in the wind, his face was covered by a green domino mask, and oh, Lord, those _cheekbones_. 

And he was staring right at Satori, almost as if he was expecting him to say something.

Satori tilted his head to the side.

“I asked if you were okay.” The Photosynthesizer frowned. “You didn’t respond.”

“I’m fine!” Satori chuckled. What a great first impression. “I’d just be a lot better if I wasn’t hanging over my certain death!”

The Photosynthesizer nodded, hopping up into the air, where he floated for a few seconds before jetting out over the gap between buildings until he was right in front of Satori’s face.

His eyes were pretty enchanting.

“I’m not sure if I can untie this knot without dropping you in the process.” The Photosynthesizer held a hand out. “Grab my hand.”

“What?!” Satori looked from his face to his hand back to his face again before he broke into a confused smile. “Seems a little early for that, doesn’t it?”

The Photosynthesizer blinked. “I’d just want to prevent you from falling.”

“Oh. Okay.” Satori mentally kicked himself, grabbing the Photosynthesizer’s hand. “Can you untie a knot with one hand?”

“I’m going to try.” 

Satori felt the ropes on his back shifting and he tried not to flinch. That would only make things worse. “Is it working?”

“I don’t know, it’ll be easier to tell in a few seconds.”

“Okay!” Satori nodded, trying not to imagine what could happen if this plan fell through.

“Don’t be alarmed, you’ll be back on solid ground soon enough.”

“How I feel kind of depends on what you mean by that!”

The ropes kept shifting. Satori felt them getting looser, and he didn’t know whether he was more relieved or more worried. “Okay, it’s getting loos-ER!”

His stomach dropped faster than he did. He was falling to the ground, and he was falling fast. The windows of every story of the skyscraper went by in a matter of seconds, and he squeezed his eyes shut, convinced that he was going to die.

Until he didn’t. 

The Photosynthesizer had him in his admittedly-gorgeous arms, and they were floating down to the ground a lot slower than Satori had been falling before. He tried not to flip out at the fact that he was being carried bridal-style.

“Th-thanks.” Satori was tempted to kiss the ground once he was on it again, but he didn’t, if only for the sake of preserving his image. 

“You’re welcome.” The Photosynthesizer nodded, clearly about to go on his merry way.

“Hey, wait a sec!” The words came out of Satori’s mouth before he knew what they

would be, and he hated that he just had to deal with it. 

“Yes?”

“What’s your name?” Satori asked. “I mean, your real name.”

The Photosynthesizer narrowed his eyes. “I can’t tell you that. Not yet.”

“Not yet?”

He didn’t reply. 

“Well, in that case -”

“Are you trying to ask me out?”

“What? No!” Satori chuckled. Damn, this was not going according to plan. “But if you are, then by all means, I accept.”

No one said a word for a few seconds. 

“Meet me here tomorrow at four o’clock.” The Photosynthesizer didn’t show any emotion whatsoever.

Satori’s eyes went wide before the corners of his mouth curled up into a smile. “It’s a date.”

The Photosynthesizer nodded once before turning around and walking down the street. Satori was surprised that he didn’t just take off and fly instead.

He guessed he’d find out why soon enough.

**Author's Note:**

> This is so bad lmao forgive me I wrote it in a half hour
> 
> Thanks to claude for coming up with ushi's superhero name it's just stupid enough and i love you for it
> 
> [writing tumblr](http://hanwritesstuff.tumblr.com)|[everything-else tumblr](http://violist-yamaguchi.tumblr.com)
> 
> @shiratori fam i finally got an ushiten fic out are you all proud of me


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